So very sad.

On Wednesday we found out that my cousin's 4 month old baby died. He was the "younger" of identical twins. His brother alerted their mom that morning and when she found him, he wasn't breathing. That's about all I know of the story. It's incredibly painful just to think about what they're going through. My heart aches for them and I have no idea what to do or say. Late last night my cousin's wife chatted with me on F.B. We don't really know each other and I don't really recall ever speaking to her. But last night, early morning for her, she reached out. It took the breath right out of me. All I could do was tear up while I waited for something, anything, to come to mind to type. Each word I wrote out seemed so trite and completely NOT what I was feeling or wanted to say. For once I was unable to articulate myself and what a horrible time to have that happen. I felt so helpless. I'm STILL searching for words that can convey how utterly devastated I am for them.

Looking at Isa and Maya, I am so tremendously grateful for all that they are and all that they bring to my life. We've been so very blessed (cliche but true) every step of the way that led to them "being". Rebeca got pregnant so easily with both of them and they've been so healthy and happy. Even though Isa's first months were agony because of her eczema and allergies, those were at least manageable. To think that one of them could cease to exist... there are no words for that kind of pain.

My cousin and his family are now forever changed. Their two older children will most likely always remember this time, even though they are very young. His twin will definitely know that his other half is missing and that saddens me the most. How do people go on after this type of tragedy? I don't know that I would be able to.

Please, if you see this, send out peaceful vibes and healing thoughts toward my cousin , his wife and their three kids. And light a little candle in honor of baby B.

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976