The One Where I Don't Say Very Much

Recently I read a blog by Kristin over at More Than Words.  She wrote a fantastic piece about “Mommy Time” and the importance of having your own hobbies.  She also talked about those judgey moms who are “waaaaaaaay too busy with their children and marriages” to do anything else but parent and…spouse? 

 I could easily use that excuse as to why I’ve been so absent, but the truth is, I’m just a lazy ass.  I’ve not been bettering my partnership with Rebeca or building the Smithsonian out of home made pretzel sticks with the girls.  I’ve been watching a lot of TV, “running”, facebooking and zumbaing.  Oh and eating.  A lot of eating. 

To all those moms who are too busy being a “SuperParent/Wife” to have a hobby or two I say, “Sucks to be you.”  Because this mom NEEDS her some alone time.  If I don’t go run, have lunch with a friend or Zumba, I get fussy.  And no one needs to be around that.  Rebeca is the same way.  She needs some time.  And I need her to have some time.  For reals. 

Thank you for giving me some motivation to write Kristin.  ;)

What else has been going on in my world?  Soooooo much!!  Do I even know where to start?  Nope.  Okay, how about running. 

I shall NEVER call myself a runner.  I think when people say that they are Runners, then that implies a general positive feeling toward running.  I don’t have that.  I still hate it.  Up until the second I’m tying my shoes, I’m trying to find a reason out of it.  I especially loathe those first 10 minutes.  I can feel my face turning red, my legs burn and my chest feels like it’s going to explode.  I have to turn my music waaaaaay up so that I can’t hear my own wheezing.  It throws me off.  But, I’m still out there, looking like a jello mold sitting on a washing machine.  I have a race this weekend and I am so not ready.  It’s a 5k that I’m making some of my work friends do with me.  We’re shooting for a less than an hour finish!  Whoo hooo!!! 

 

One good thing about all this running is that I can now say that I can run at least a mile.  Yep, 1 mile is a freaking miracle to this lady. 

 

As you well know, Hawaii finally went the marriage equality way this past fall.  Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I watched a few HOURS of testimony.  The number of speakers broke some sort of record supposedly.  And although I thought I would be really affected by the Antis remarks, it was actually quite humorous. 

We heard things like, “Kill the bill or kill the keiki (children) of Hawaii!!”  Intense!  One lady fresh from China sobbed that she would be afraid to use the bathroom because of all the “gay boys”.  Ummmmmm…. 

And of course there were all the people who spouted their % of Native Hawaiian blood to make their case more legit.  Seriously.  “I am 3% Native Hawaiian and I KNOW that King Kamehameha would not want gay marriage!” 

In the end truth won out, and the governor was quick to sign the bill into law. 

Quickly, FB exploded with the news and friends/family from all over the globe sent their congratulatory messages.  “YAY!!  So happy for you guys!!  When’s the wedding??” 

How did I feel? 

This is gonna sound a little bitchy….but since it’s my blog, I can sound however I want.  

Truthfully, I felt meh. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I felt triumphant when the bill passed the final vote.  It was like watching my favorite team win a big game.  I cheered and got a bit misty eyed. 

Then, as usual, I started to think too much.  And I got a wee bit annoyed. 

We won a fight that we never should have had to fight.  It’s like asking, “How’s it feel to not have to use a separate water fountain?  You must be so happy!!!”  Um, great. Fuckyouverymuch. 

Debbie Downerville, I know.  But I had to get that out. 

Will Rebeca and I get married?  Most likely, because now it just seems logical.  And of course the whole love thing. 

Which brings me to the other Feelings I have now that marriage equality has passed.  I feel Brave-  like I can walk down any street holding Rebeca’s hand and if anyone said anything negative…well the law says you’re wrong.  *ppppppbbbbbbtttttt*

I feel validated.  We are now a certified family, no longer just “playing house”.  How shitty that it took this to make me feel Real.  Ugh.  If I had a therapist she’d probably hate me. 

 

 I guess all of this sums up the random thoughts coursing through this messed up mind of mine. 

 Stay tuned for my next installment… Why I Love Praise Music