Making babies

As I thought more about Gay 101, I realized that probably 98% of you who read this little blog of mine, are in fact Gay.  So really I’d be preaching to the choir.  And since some of you are indeed older than me (KJ!!) I have nothing to teach you. haha

But for the 2% who have not seen the rainbow light, I feel like I still have something to offer.  A little glimpse into the world of the Homosexual.  (I hate that word.) 

**All opinions and experiences are solely mine and I definitely do NOT represent the rest of the world’s lesbians** 

I guess, for the most part, the most recent questions we’ve gotten are about the way our children came to be. 

As in:

*puzzled look*  You’re both their moms?  But did one of you give birth?  How do you do that? 

Usually I just answer, “We stopped using birth control and it happened right away!” 

And sometimes they believe me!!  So my wit is completely lost on those people. 

But when I’m feeling charitable I tell them our real story. 

And here it is:

I always thought that I would be the one who would carry any babies.  But when the time came, Rebeca had much better insurance.  Not very romantic, but it’s the truth.  I had been shopping for sperm for a few years already, always on the lookout for donors who would produce cute, genius kids. 

We found our donor on the CCB website.  He was Japanese, relatively tall and we liked his attitude about work and life.  There is a huge shortage of Japanese donors.  So the pickings were slim.  Take note all you tall Japanese dudes who read this blog!! 

We got the go ahead from our endocrinologist and quickly ordered 4 vials of spermage over the phone like pizza.  Very expensive pizza.  Without the satisfying full feeling after. 

Rebeca was pretty certain that she could get pregs without any type of boosts so we didn’t use any meds.  She has 6 brothers and sisters. 

The first time we went to do an insemination was the first day of school for both of us.  For me, the first day of a new job.  (Thanks ISA!!)  So not only did we have to think about getting Rebeca knocked up, but we also had to come out to our bosses about being gay and about trying to conceive.  Fun. 

“Hi, Mrs. Bosslady?  Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and miss my first day of work.  No no, not sick.  I just have to try and impregnate my lesbian lover.  Yes, I’m a lesbian too.  Surprise!” 

Luckily our bosses were down with the two ladyfriends thing and off we went to the clinic. 

We got to the office.  Had to identify our sperm by the # on the vial and then we were sent downstairs to the lab, vial in hand, to get it washed.  It was an awkward elevator ride. 

And an even more awkward wait as we sat waiting for the clean sperm.  ;)  I think I drank a diet pep.si. 

We were handed our little see through ziplock and got back onto the elevator.  I peered at the tiny vial wondering if I could see movement.  I couldn’t. 

We were then led into The Room.  Where all the magic would hopefully happen.  I LOVED that our nurse had an Irish accent.  I just wanted to listen to her talk, but Rebeca was stirruped and ready to go.  The nurse inserted the syringe and then let me plunge the junk into my lady’s uterus. 

I felt pretty good about the way I had inseminated her, and gave myself a pat on the back. 

I had heard that having an orgasm during insemination would help with conceiving, but for some reason Rebeca was against doing it at the time.   “Every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you…” 

She got dressed and we drove to our respective jobs. 

All day we texted about her having sperm inside of her!  *shudder* 

And a few days later, she tested and she was indeed with child.  I think it was all in the plunge…

That is how Isa came to be.  Maya’s story was pretty similar, but did include a leprechaun.

Class dismissed!