Why Pride Still Matters

For the last 5 years or so, Rebeca and I have this conversation every June. 

Me:  Pride is this weekend.

Rebeca: Oh.

Me:  We should go.

Rebeca: I know.

Me:  I don’t want to.

Rebeca: Me either.

Me:  But we should go.

Rebeca:  Ok. 

And so we go.  Why?  Well this year it’s because we’ve had these types of conversations in the last few weeks. 

Isa:  Today Kayla said that Carrie is going to be gay when she grows up.

Me: Oh?  Did she say it in a nice way?

Isa:  No.

Me:  You can always say, “So what?” or “My moms are gay.”

Isa:  But maybe she’ll say that I’m gay then.

Me:  True.  But is being gay a bad thing?

Isa: No.

Me:  Lots of people you love are gay. 

Isa:  Yeah.  Aunt Lucia…Uncle Duane…Aunty Monica….Aunty Carmen…

Me: Well maybe you can say, “Kayla that hurts my feelings when you say that.”

Isa:  I can say that. 

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Isa:  The boys at school say that “One Direction” is gay. 

Me:  Are they saying it in a kind way?

Isa:  No. 

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Isa:  Mommy you know what Keaka yells every day? 

Me:  No, what? 

Isa:  FAGGOTS!!!!  FAGGOTS!!!

So that’s why we go.  Because my girls are growing up and are hearing on a daily basis how bad “gay” is.  I want them to see another side.  To see families like theirs, to see couples of every type in love and proud, to see allies who love us for who we are. 

We need to do better Hawaii.  I need to do better!

Our community came together when our government was voting on marriage equality.  The energy, the power.  It was palpable and invigorating.  If only we had kept that momentum. 

We have a responsibility.  As adults, as part of the LGBT community.  We have a duty to help the young people around us be okay.  Whether they be gay, straight or in between.  They need Us. 

Us who are thriving.  Who have children, who have healthy relationships, who are accepted and celebrated by our friends and families.  We need to be seen.

I will be more cognizant about being visible.  To be an example and a safe place.  To not hide behind perceptions or omission.  I must do better at being open rather than hesitant about people’s reactions. 

I need to remember me at 21 finally putting that rainbow sticker on my car- almost nauseous with fear, but too proud to be silent anymore. 

Happy Pride month everyone!