Lazy Parenting

I’ve come to the realization that I’m a lazy parent.  Actually I’ve had this thought for some time, but haven’t really delved in to it until recently.  The other day a friend messaged me the following….

“When you think about any marginalized identities that you or your children hold…are there any books/movies/blogs/resources that you would recommend other use to learn more?

What are some tangible strategies you use to parent/influence small humans from a social justice lens?

What are the SJ parenting issues/moments that you struggle most with?” 

Some deep shit right there.  And after sitting and thinking about this for a while, I realized that Rebeca and I….don’t do anything. 

We do not intentionally expose our children to certain media just because…social justice.  We don’t have them partake in specific experiences just because….social justice. 

Our lives unintentionally revolves around social justice. 

Her body, her choice.  

They are a part of a few marginalized groups.  They’re Japanese.  They’re Latina.  They have gay parents.  They are female.  This is their reality.  

 

So what do we do to teach them about social justice? 

We talk. 

We are always open to questions and conversations, even if they make us squirm and want to bleach our ears. 

I took the girls to the womens’ march only after I explained what it was and asked if they wanted to go.  After considering the cause, they were all for it.  On the drive down I tasked my friend with explaining to them what a “pussy” was.  Haha  It takes a village yo. 

When we go to Pride, they always ask why we’re going. They ask why guys are wearing leather horse masks, why women are shirtless but with glittery nipple covers.  They wonder what the rainbow means and why some people hate the gays.   All of these questions, we answer- a lot of times while eating.  Because food helps everything digest a little easier, right? 

We don’t patronize Chik-Fil-A, Dominos, Hobby Lobby and a few other places.  They complain sometimes but when we explain again, they get it.  We give them the option of spending their own money at these places, but they haven’t taken us up on it yet. 

They hear about Trump and sex and walls and suicide and drugs and depression and will sometimes bring their questions to us (who knows how often really).  Thank god.  We also tell them that if they don’t want to ask us these types of questions, they can ask Aunty Monica, Aunty Carmen, Aunty Fabi and Aunty Dora.  Our village. 

Our children have been exposed to a multitude of languages, cultures, ideas and ways of life.  Not because we intentionally sought these experiences out, but because they are a part of our lives in some way.  They know the rituals of a Buddhist temples as much as they know about Christmas. 

  

In so many ways I feel like I’m a lazy parent.  I don’t read parenting books, I’m not carting them around to a thousand different activities and I don’t participate in the school PTO.  I don't make sure that all their food is organic or non-GMO.  They watch TV so that I can sleep in.  I don’t fill their world with images of social justice and privilege so that every moment is a teachable one. Their lives will always be on the fringes of straight/white society.  And they seem to already be preparing for that.  Knowing that we have their backs is what will help them navigate their world and anything that comes their way.  More so than any book/movie could.