During my everyday, I
don’t often stop to think about being a “gay family”. I think about getting out the door on time, traffic
patterns, making sure Maya receives her mantra each morning (What kind of hands
and feet? Kind hands. Kind feet. What kind of ears?
Listening ears. What kind
of words? Kind words. Yelling? No.
Bossing? No.) I think about the work I have to do,
the zumba I will be doing and whether or not the girls have anything “due”. I think about a lot of things during my day, but being
a “gay family” is usually not one of those things.
Until, of course,
something happens. Dumb shit like
a co-worker being insensitive during Mothers’ Day, or just matter of fact shit
like someone commenting on how much the girls look like me. It’s only then that I feel like an
“other”. An other mother, an other
type of family. Usually these
realizations don’t affect me much, but sometimes it does make me wince a
little. Or cry. Or curse.
When I look at my
family I just see Us. One daughter
who is the next big name fashionista and one who likes to roll in dirt and
imitate Robert DeNi.ro. One mom
who likes to yoga and make quinoa salad and one who lives in t-shirts and ADORES Psych Week on Disco.very Health. We are so ordinary it’s ordinary! I almost wish we had a bit of the
excitement that some people think about when they hear about The Gays. I can barely stay up past 10 o’clock
never mind having a ton of anonymous sex and partaking in some new underground
drug scene. I’d be the lamest
druggie around. “Oh, don’t mind
Stacy. She’s not fucked up, she’s
just taking a nap.”
Isa graduated from
pre-k yesterday. And just like the
other families, we took pictures like crazed paparazzi and shed a couple of
tears for her bygone youth. We celebrated
with dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant, let her eat ice cream for
dessert and put her to bed a little later than usual.
Tomorrow is the
Honolulu Pride Celebration. It’s
TINY and quiet and so different from my Prides of yesteryear. I’m forcing Rebeca to go in exchange
for going to the beach right after.
I tell her that this community needs more visibility, that our girls
need to see other peeps like their moms.
Even if they don’t “get it” yet.
And, of course, she agrees, but she’d still rather just go to the
beach.
So, before they take
away our gay card, we’ll go show some Pride and then relax in the sand. Just like any other family on a
Saturday afternoon.
5 comments:
Beautiful post. almost as beautiful as your family.
It's crazy, but Pride in Utah is HUGE ! Super huge.
We don't go because frankly....we're lame. we don't want to keep track of our 5 kids. and explaining to our kids why all of those guys are dressed like Priscilla Queen of the Desert with fluorescent pink and green g-strings showing their super smooth buttooshka's is just not something we want to do right now. ;-)
It is actually very family friendly though. and I'm worries they'll pull our card. If you guys ever make it to Utah during pride. I'll totes go !
I was just gonna say Utah's is super huge! Asher's first pride is this weekend also! Go gays!
I adore that family picture. One for the record books for sure.
I just found your blog through the comment you left on my wife's blog (adventures of k & d). Your children are so adorable! I am enjoying reading through your older posts. The Mother's Day post really got to me. We are also both in education (I teach 3rd grade and she is a school social worker) and I am struggling with being half-in, half-out at work. It is comforting to read about others' experiences.
Thanks for participating in Blogging for LGBT Families Day! Congratulations on your new graduate!
Such a wonderful, true post! I often feel that I am inadvertently making some kind of "statement" when I'm with my girlfriend, when really I just want to be US. I think this is an issue that many LGBT people deal with, and I love how you articulated it! xo
Kayla
kayandliss.blogspot.com
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