Just Like the Romneys

I got this idea from a blog I read, Chronicles of a Clueless Mom.  She’s been doing a series on “How my marriage is just like yours”.  And it’s been fantastic. 

I think that most of the time, you can see that Rebeca and my relationship is pretty typical.  Our interactions are just like any other long-term couple.  Right?  I mean don’t all partners call each other hookers and discuss the finer points of S and M?  I bet they do.  They just don’t put it all out there on the “interweb”. 

In our everyday, we are just like any hetero couple out there.  Our alarm wakes us up, we hit snooze a few times, we get our kids up and ready for school.  We kiss goodbye and we commute to work.  We work all day, come home, fix dinner, help with homework, bathe them, bathe ourselves and then watch a little tv.  We fall into our bed exhausted and then we do it all over again.  Nothing in that day would signal that we are two women.  All it shows is that we are two parents. 

We’re just like the Romneys!  Except that if I ever expected Rebeca to be at home cooking me dinner at 5pm I’d probably end up with a black eye. 

We’re not a perfect couple.  We fight and get ugly with one another.  I’m probably the meanest person ever when I’m fighting with Rebeca.  I say horrible things and use nasty words.  I purposely try to hurt her feelings and I never say, “I’m sorry”.  We are not the healthiest fighters and we know this about ourselves.  But in the end we’re always okay.  And we forgive each other without saying so.  We know how to push each other’s buttons and we do it.  We’re not perfect.  We love each other so much that we still work.  No matter how big of a fight, there’s still love.  I will even say to Rebeca, “I REALLY, REALLY don’t like you right now…but I still love you.”  Sometimes I leave out the “…but I still love you” part.  But she knows.

We’ve settled into roles that are comfortable to us.  I do more of the cooking and laundry.  She’s the cleaner.  I don’t do toilets and she doesn’t deal with the old stuff in the fridge.  I am the organized mom who knows who has appointments and events.  I get all of our things ready for the coming week.  She is the one who plays.  She’s much better at that.  I pay the bills and she kills the bugs.  We work. 

We put up with each other’s crazy.  Through this blog you all KNOW how weird I can be.  And Rebeca is pretty much accepting of all of my idiosyncrasies.  She makes fun of the stuff I watch on tv and she knows that I can be uber sensitive and harsh.  And it’s okay.  I know that she is slightly possessive and a jealous freak.  And it’s okay.  Because we’ve decided that being together is worth all this other…stuff.  That no matter how mad she makes me, or vice versa, we want to be together. 

And why do we stick with it?  Because we’re committed.  We love each other more than we could love any other person.  We have chosen to be together.  

One day we will be married.  And hopefully it will be legal.  A while ago I posted a piece called “Why Marriage?” by Donald Teale.  The whole poem can be found here, but this excerpt really sums it up for me. 

Why Marriage?

Because I want the world to see that we have become one,

a union bound by our love and the love of our friends, all encompassing.

And… most of all, because we want to.

And this is why MY relationship is just like yours.