This morning, surrounded by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, my grandmother quietly passed away. It was quick and painless. What we were definitely praying for, for her. Now the room is quiet, the house is empty of all the visitors. Isa and Maya are watching a show downstairs with my mom and I'm here.
I was right next to her as she drew her last breath. I saw the inhale and the exhale and then nothing. And I kept waiting for something...but everything was so still.
People always chronicle their birth stories when they have a baby. I feel like I want to record what has occurred over the last couple of days. Is that morbid?
Isa is processing. Definitely. She wanted to say good-bye this morning, and she watched as the transport people took my grandma away. She's been silent and seemingly very detached. But I know she's thinking. And I'm waiting for the questions.
Maya is jolly. She kept going into the bedroom, even after grandma died. Standing at my grandma's head and smiling. She kissed her a few times on the head and pointed out that people were crying. She saw my cousin sobbing and went up to her and gave her a huge hug. That's Maya.
Right now, I'd love to take a nap, but I think I want to go to zum.ba tonight. I feel like I need to release...something.
I'm sad, but I'm also very relieved in a way. The last few days have been tough, and now, at least, she's not in any discomfort or angst.
I will write my record later. After I can organize it in my head.
8 comments:
I'm so sorry, Stacy. I'll be praying for your family.
Please take this with how I'm sending it. I'm so happy that she went quickly. I was worried when you said she was coming home that this was going to go on forever. That she would decline and decline and decline and you would have to watch it. That's never good. Not for her or the ones taking care of her.
I know she is in peace now and it sounds like you guys are too.
I'm so sorry that you lost your grandma but again....so happy that she had you there, right up until the very end.
I think that living a full and happy life...only to leave it with loved ones around is a beautiful thing and I can't wait to hear the whole story.
Sending love and hugs.
Thinking of you during this time, even if I don't know you. Years ago, my grandmother passed away in my home, so reading this post brought back many memories & feelings. May your family feel a sense of peace during these days. ~Liz
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I hope that knowing that she is at peace is a comfort for you and your family.
I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. I completely understand the need to chronicle the days and I wish you space and clear-headedness.
i'm so sorry for your loss, stacy. i echo KJ. i'm glad she went quickly. i'm sure she felt peace having you there with her til the very last. lots of hugs. wish i was there to make you guys a casserole or something :)
Sending you all love. The girls will find their way thru your guidance. Just keep the conversation free & easy. xoxo.
You have a very special family. Hugs and love while you all grieve this loss.
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