Day 5- Siblings

I have one. Scott. He's 32, married with a baby on the way. He was "The Boy". If you read my post below, you know that boy=gold in many asian families. And although it's not voiced, it's very much felt. He was born in Illinois and my grandma came through a snowstorm to meet him. I didn't speak to her for 3 days.

I guess we've always had a love/hate relationship like many other siblings. When he was a baby I tried to sell him/give him away. When he was a toddler I told him that eating a dried worm would enable him to fly like Superman. Was it my fault that he believed me? When he was kid age I pretty much waffled between loathing him and resigning myself to playing with him. I'd tell him that he was adopted, that if our parents got a divorce he'd have to live with my dad since he was a boy. I wasn't very nice. But only I could be mean to him.

Once at a base pool in Virginia some older boys were making fun of him and doing that sing song "Chinese" thing. I went over, stood behind him and glared at those boys until they left. I was embarrassed for my brother and pissed that I even had to intervene. Why couldn't he defend himself?

When I was in high school, we would hang out occasionally. When I was in college we were at our closest. We'd go to concerts, parties and it seemed like we were finally friends. One summer when I was coming out, I made him watch every lesbian movie I could find at Blockbuster. :) Poor kid.

But, he's still the Boy. The one that everyone was waiting for, the one who can do no wrong. The one who inspired my father to buy the book, "How to Raise a Healthy Male". *gag* And because of this attitude toward him, there will always be a distance between us.

There's a saying in many cultures that "---- moms raise girls, but they love sons." Completely true in so many Japanese families. I know that I'm the responsible one, the one who my mom can talk to about the hard stuff. Even in death, my father comes to me to make sure I handle things. I'm supposed to keep the family together, and all he has to do is show up occasionally for Sunday dinner.

But I do love him. He's the reason I became ordained in the first place. He asked me to officiate at his wedding. He sought my advice when he was going to propose. And although he is a know-it-all, I know that when we talk about parenting he's listening a little bit. No matter what he's my little brother. We have a common history that not too many others can relate to. And that counts for something.

Scott on his wedding day. 3/10